| Relaxed |
[Jan. 7th, 2006|12:33 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  relaxed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | none | ] |
So today was pretty good. I only crawled out of bed at like 1:30, so I got lots of sleep. Then I read for a bit and went to work. After work I went to Nicoles and we order chinese for which was orgasmic since I only ate 3 roles all day. Then I went home. That when the good stuff started.
So me and Nicole had decided that we were both gunna get baths. So when went home that's just what I did. But since I was feeling kinda crappy for the past day or so I decided to make it special by adding bubbles. Well that set me off. Not only did I add bubbles, But I SHAVED MY LEGS! That's right, all the hair is gone. 4 months workth of growning GONE!I when on a shaving frenzy. I shaved every single inch of my legs, shave my pits and feminine areas. I'll pay for it later because it will my my eczema soooooo friggin bad it's unfit but for now i'm going to enjoy it by wearing my skirt tomorrow. Not only did I shave my legs but I decided to give myself a manicure. I feel so pampered. It was great.
Me, Tara and Nicole are all going to join yoga this week. It's going to be a special girls thing for us all to get to spend time together. Anybody who wants to join with us is welcome to. Only $6.00 a day, I think. I'm also going bad to the gym tomorrow and I am hoping somebody's gunna decide to come with me becuase I don't want to go alone.So ya know, anybody reading this wh feels the need to get in shape then just give me a call.
anyways, I've got a book to read and a bed to lay in, so I'm out. |
|
|
| panicing |
[Jan. 5th, 2006|10:23 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the darkness - love is only a feeling | ] |
I just got this really horrible felling of being completely lost. How can you go from being so close with someone to barely talking to them? How can you go from being so comfortable around someone only to find that you're making stupid small talk to avoid an awekward conversation with them? I hate the way things have ended. I hate the way we are and the fact that in a few months that just might be the way we stay.
maybe i'm just freaking out because grade 12 is almost half way over and I already have the feeling of drifting apart from everybody. The people I once used to consider good friends now feel like nothing more the aquaitences. People i only see around not people I hang out with. and that's mostly my own fault considering that I really just don't have the time. But I want to make time. I want a few really good memories with my friends before we all go our separate ways. I want to walk to the movies with someone, or walk to town because now that we all have our license we all drive we never do the things we used to. It may drop our social standing by like 50% because we'll look like such tools but that what I want. I want to fall in a ditch and have someone point and laugh at me. And I want to see how far I can stick a grape up my nose. and I want to hear the phrase "I love chicken".And I want to be on "team get the shot gun." And I want to have my hands dyed green for 2 weeks because I dyed someones hair with coolaid. and I want to have spicey chicken pizza. I want to have moments like that before it's too late.
I know it won't happen. This have changed too much, we've changed. no matter how much we sa "ya it will" or "anytime, just name it", they're all just empty word. Because when it really comes down to it we're all to wrapped up in what our own lives have become to pay any attention to what our lives once were. I' really not one to talk, I do the same thing. And it's the way it should be. We shouldn't look to the past for comfort we should look to what could possibly be. those are things that have already happened and need to be left in the past.
But I don't want to leave my friends in the past. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|01:06 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  hyper | ] |
at least it's sunny out.
today is going to suck. I slept in. I wanted to be up around 10:00 or 11:00 but I slept until 12:36. If fawn hadn't of called I would not have gotten out of bed until after 1:00. YAY for Fawnzie!
So I have a full day of studying ahead of me. It just sunk in that I have 2 exams tomorrow and I haven't opened a book to study yet. And surprisingly i'm not that worried about it. It won't be that hard studying for bio because I just made out those notes recently so everything is already fresh in my mind. English will be pretty easy too because it's only on 3 things.
You know what I hate? People who say one thing to your face and Something completely different behind your back. And I'm not talking about just talking about someone behind their back. I mean someone will say something like 'I'm not mad at you, it really doesn't matter anymore' and then go around saying 'I fucking hate that person'. I love it when their excuse for saying it was 'Well I would say it to your face'. Ya right. I really believe that. That's just something someone says to cover their own ass and make them seem like the bigger person because they 'would have told you to your face'. But in reality, they are just a big fucking coward who doesn't have the guts to look you in the eye and tell you what they think. or at least call you about it because it would be the right thing to do to tell the person the truth.
oh the truth. Now that's something I could go off about for a while. In the past few months I couldn't even count how many times I've lied. I haven't lied in a really long time because I just haven't seen a reason to lie but I have lied a lot in the past. Not big lies of course. Most just little white lies to avoid conflicts but still, they were lies. But the people who really get to me are hypocrites. Ya know, someone who will give me shit about lying then turns around and lies themselves. And not just a little white lie, no, a fucking huge one. They have the fucking nerve to call me a liar and make me feel bad about it when they were lying from the start before I even uttered one un-true word to them.
I actually find it funny. Because I actually felt bad about some of the lies I've told. when really I was being lied to all along. It's ironic really. Of course it's not a good thing, 2 wrongs don't make a right, but it's still funny.
but anyways. I had so much fun over the weekend. I didn't study much tho. Me and fawn hung out ALL day yesterday and I loved it. It's nice to spend time with her, I really missed it. we brought Mitch out some McDondald's because the poor guy wasn't allowed to leave his house because of exams.then we went to the circus and spent like 3 hours there. then we went for a drive to new Waterford and got ice cream. Then we went shopping. Then I had to work and fawn stayed with me my whole shift. Then we went to wendy's after work then back to my place. At my place we sat around and talked and played with pam and tasha.
all in all it was a pretty good weekend. But all weekends must come to an end and that always ends up with me doing school work. So that's what I'm off to do. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|07:02 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | numb | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the killers - Andy, you're a star | ] |
YAY for no sleep.
So I pulled an all nighter. I didn't mean to, it just sort of happened. I was just thinking about so many different things last night that I just couldn't get to sleep. So at around 3:30 I decided to go for a walk. I had to sneak out the back off the step cause I didn't think my parents would like the idea of me wandering around sydney alone at 3:30am. It was fun. I love walking around outside when nobody else is around. When there's no cars and you can just sit in the street. It made me feel better.
I never noticed how many of those adult call in places there were on tv. I was watching tv and I was just flipping through the channels and I found like 8 of them. Not even joking. In under 2 hours I found 8 of them. It was crazy. Then I found porn and watched that for a while. That was like the first time in lots of months that I watched porn and it really wasn't that much fun. oh well, what can ya expect from thursday night porn on the french channels?
So my throat is now killing me. It's all swollen and sore. I'm drinking cold juice to help it. It's not really working but the juice is good so i'm gunna keep drinking it.
Yesterday I got loads of stuff done. All my bio is done except on late thing on my lab. But my lab is typed, Thanx to Fawnzie. *hugs* Me and her were going to go tanning yesterday but we didn't end up going. We tried though. We went to three different tanning places and none of them had two openings. but we learned a valuable lesson, always book appointments! We had fun even though we didn't go tanning. We went out for supper at wendy's. It was sooooo good. I love wendy's, it's the best fast food restaurant ever. Then me and fawn just drove around and talked.
I only ended up going to one of my classes yesterday. Bio. I only went because my teacher had to check my scribbler, which he flipped though for 2 seconds and told me I should have done different questions. The bastard didn't even assign us questions, he just said we had better have some review questions done. I was ready to scream at him. Just be like I spent 13 hours making these notes which is probably more than 5 times the amount of time that half the brain dead idiots in this class put into it and you're criticizing me? He just makes me so angry sometimes. But i'm out of his class come monday so I don't really care anymore.
On my way to my car after school I met Tara and gave her a lift home. It was fun. She looked pretty yesterday. I wish I had of been there all day to stare at her creepily. It would have been fun.
So that was my day yesterday. Now onto today. I really have nothing specific planned out. Anyone up for the circus tonight? I have 70 free tickets to spend. I've resorted to bribing people to go to the circus with me, I've hit a new low.
But seriously, anyone who wants to go to the circus, call me, I'm desperate. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 10th, 2005|02:37 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
well it's 2:38 in the morning and I'm still up.
I made a really nasty post earlier. And I just came down now to edit it. It wasn't just about one person but in the end it ended up being about one person in particular. I made the post and I felt better that everything I was thinking and that was bother me was off my chest. But then I thought that the person reading that post would have been really hurt. And other people might have been hurt by it too because not all of it was just about one person. And I just couldn't post it. I meant it all but sometimes the truth should just be kept to yourself. It doesn't matter that I didn't use names. I never specifically pointed anybody out but still. I felt it was wrong. everyone would have know who it was. And even though I was angry and I did mean everything that was said I don't want to hurt anyone. So this is it. Instead of my nice long rant that was the longest post I have ever written, you get this. A crappy 10 lined substitute telling of a rant you will never get to read.
good night |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 7th, 2005|12:50 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | bouncy | ] |
It's 12:50 pm and I'm not in school. YAY!
today i'm going to the doctors because my throat still isn't better so that should be fun. There's nothing I love more then sitting around in a room full of sick people that smells like coffee and germs. Oh well what can ya do. I hope they check my ears cause i love that ear thingy they use. It's fascinated me ever since I was a kid. I've always wanted to look in someones ear with it. I almost asked my doctor if I could look in his ear once but I chickened out because my doctor scares me.
My dad went great. History was awesome. I didn't study at all for my history test and I still ended up with a 100. Ya gotta love that. Bio was boring as usual. My bio teacher still manages to amaze me with how stupid he can be. But I've just learned to turn him out now so it's all good. Instead of listening and doing what he tells me to do I make up my own things. Today I worked on my bio questions which I was going to do when I got home from school but I did in class so now i'm almost done. Even math class was fun. Ben started drawing a picture of a tree i like. It's the tree outside of my math class. That tree got me out of 3 of my classes once. Back when we had the hurricane thingy and the tree blanch hit the windows of the school so they evacuated all of that wing. Yup, 3 of my classes were in that wing. So I love that tree. His picture was looking really good too.
I went to get dressed this morning and I was going to wear my orange t-shirt and then I realized that my mother got javex on it. It was white spots al over it. I was so upset. But i only noticed it after I put the shirt on and because I was too lazy to take the shirt off I just through on a sweater.
The best news ever! My sister got excepted into University... IN MAIN! That's right she is moving hundreds of miles away and I get her room. And possibly her car. Which is just the greatest thing ever. Plus I will only see her about 6 or 7 times a year, which is the most anyone should see any of their relatives in the run of a year.
I'm off to the doctors. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 5th, 2005|10:44 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  blank | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the darkness - love is only a feeling | ] |
It's 10:44 and already my day is looking crappy. I'm cranky as hell and my family keeps picking at me. They yelled because hair is everywhere from when i cut micki's hair and they won't shut up about it. Every time I walk up the stairs they say something to me about it. I heard them the first time, I took their ranting rather well. I just sat there let them yell, told them they were right, just to pacify them and they are still yelling at me about it. You'ld think they would just let it go like any normal human being. And if they're not yelling about the hair then they're complaining because my computer has a virus. I didn't put it there or go out and get it on purpose. Because trust me, I think i'm the most upset over the fact my baby isn't working. I fucking love that computer, it's my life. But for some reason they just wanna make me feel bad that it's not working. But oh well, parents are stupid any ways.
despite the fact that today sucks so far, yesterday was awesome. I had lots of fun. I cut Micki's hair and fawn was my assistant. It was so much fun. The three of us ended up standing around in my bathroom for an hour and a half laughing and carrying on. We didn't get our pizza though because all three of us had a severe lack of money so we had to eat my food, which wasn't too bad because i just got groceries.
I discovered I can be quite the camera whore. Before the girls came over last night I decide I wanted to take a picture or two. That was it. Once I had one I needed more. I even went upstairs and got al pretty. I changed my cloths and put makeup on. I'm such a nerd. But it was ok cause when fawn and micki got there we all started taking pictures, so I wasn't the only one.
So me and Micki stole my dad's car. That's right, the red car, My dad's work car! My parents we're gone out most of the day yesterday but they didn't end up taking the car because they wanted to get drunk. So I came home from work (they gave me the black car to go to work)and just started lazing around. Then Micki came over and my brother said he was going out. I din't know it at the time but he was taking the black car which I was going to use to go pick up fawn. So Micki and I tell fawn we're on our way to go get her and go and get our shoes on. We look out side and the black car is gone and the red car is just sitting outside on the street. I couldn't find the key's to the car so I ended up having to take my dad's work keys, which had all the keys to the mall on it, and he forbid me from ever taking, and micki and I took the car to go get fawn. Then we felt like total idiots when we got half way there and realize, 'why didn't we just call my parents cell phone and ask permission to take the car'?. But what can ya do. It was fun.
Today I have lots of homework to do. And it's ALL biology. It sucks cause I'm really starting to hate bio because of my teacher. But what can ya do.
well I'm off to do my homework. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 4th, 2005|09:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | excited | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Lit - Over my head | ] |
Work today! YAY.
I'm actually excited about it. I dunno why either. I'm just in a good mood. I've been up since 7:30 cleaning and doing other random stuff. It's a good thing to because me room was a real mess, it needed to be cleaned sooooo bad.
Last night was fun. I did end up going out Bryan's place. It was fun. Then i came home and ate FREEZES! I love freezes they are the best thing ever. It was just a good end to a good day.
I have to go to work soon. I'm taking my new cd with me. Some dirty whore burnt it for me. I can't remember her name though. Oh well, good music at least.
anyways I gotta go to work. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2005|07:51 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  giddy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Relient k - be my escape | ] |
nothing really exciting happened today.
School which wasn't totally awful. But it really did bother me to be there today, especially all the classes after lunch. I just didn't want to be there after that. It was just too bright and sunny out to be stuck in class. But i couldn't skip any of my classes after lunch because i have math and bio. And i had a test in bio.
So Tara and Micki left me at lunch to go sit out side. They said i was taking too long to eat so they left me there and went outside without me. *shakes fist*. Oh well i love ya's anyways. I actually thought it was kinda funny.
After school I hung out with Tara, Apryl and Micki whike they all painted the mural. Then Andy joined us a little later. It was fun. It was actually a lot more fun then i thought it was going to be.
All plans got canceled for today. I was going to go to the beach but i just didn't want to go in the big group, plus i couldn't get the car to go so that's pretty much made up my mind about going. But I couldn't get the car at all. I was going to hang out with Tara, Brent and Andy for a while but my parents wouldn't give me the car and I would have had to drive out to Tara's to get Tara and Brent so the lack of car just screwed that plan. But what can ya do. So me and Andy just sat around my place take weird pictures and talking about stuff. I think i'm going out Bryan's later. My brother's home from England and he said he'd give me a ride on his way to his girlfriends place. Speaking of my brother being home from England, he bought me a present. It's this really fun bubble bath. It's smells all cool and stuff. He looked so happy giving it to me I didn't have the heart to tell him it would break me out like crazy. It's the thought that counts.
Anyways my cousin wants the computer so i'm out. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2005|08:14 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | weird | ] |
The sun is shining, it's beautiful out and i hate it. A day like today should not be waisted in school. It should be waisted sleeping it away.Or at least sleeping it away until 12:00pm, then THE BEACH!
I woke up with the weirdest feeling today. I've been thinking so much lately and i was thinking a lot before bad last night so i think that's what did it.
For some reason I just feel alone lately. And it's weird because i'm constantly surrounded by people. I just feeling like I can never say what's on my mind around ANYBODY. At least not what i'm really thinking neways. Don't get me wrong, I'm not thinking these horrible things or anything, but even though they're not bad I'm just so afraid people will take it the wrong way. I feel like i'm trying to pull away from people because of it. I just feel like I don't fit with anything right now. Not that i'm realy looking to fit or anything but I never really just look at myself and think, "wow nothing fits with me lately." But I've been doing that a lot recently. The only thing that really upsets me about all of this is that I just don't care. I've just got this incredibly numb feeling about me. ALL the time. Oh well, i'm probaby just being weird and having trust issues that stem from being awake to early in the morning.
The rest of today is going to suck. I have double math. I hate double math, it's the worst class i have ever had. Yes that's right, it was even worse then PHYSICS! And that class was pretty bad. But only 7 days of school left(5 for me because i don't plan to go half of next week0 ans then i don't have to go back to that place for 2 whole months.
After school I get to come home for a 2 hour nap, cause I think I need it, then i have to go to work. Oh well I may not like work but at least I get paid to stand there and do nothing. If it wasn't so boring I'ld say it was the perfect job. Minimal amount of work for decent money
but neways i've gotta go to school. I'm done. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2005|03:48 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | optimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | Mr. Crows Garden - Worthy Lies | ] |
well i never update and someone else added me to their lj, so i figure i might as well write something.
school sucked.
sat around in biology and listen to my crazy teacher go off about how we're all going to lose our pinky fingers. And that we should just quit playing piano because you can't play piano without pinky fingers. He's really nuts. I can not believe people actually put him in charge of educating others.
History class was awsome as usual. Me and tara got attacked my some weird dead bug. It was sooooo creepy. I don't even know what kind of bug it was but it looked like it had a stinger. the marilyn saved us from it. she just waved it away and it was gone. It kinda makes me feel wimpish that i got scared of a bug but it really was an intimidating bug. And anything with a stinger just doesn't go good with me.
It's such a nice day out. I've had the biggest urge to go outside and sit in the grass. I wanna go for a walk tonight. I miss walking. i'm going to start walking home from school. I know i won't stick to it but it's a nice thought.
Well i'm though. What do ya expect from my first public post in over a year? |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
jessie_6538's journal